Joe Balaz


Five Hawaiian Islands Pidgin Poems

COULD HAVE BEEN CATHOLIC I could have been Catholic but I wound up Seventh Day Adventist instead until I had da choice to be watevah I wanted to be. It’s all because of wun priest and dose two nuns dat came walking down da street in da family history story dat wuz told to me. It wuz old fashion kine times not like it is today. My faddah wuz wun sergeant in da U.S. Army. He met my maddah and dey got wun house in Wahiawa— Dey wasn’t married at da time. Da priest found out. He paid my faddah wun visit. He walked up da stairs looked inside da window and shouted into da house: “You are living in sin, and you are going to Hell!” My faddah came to da door and den he answered: “I'm not going to Hell, Father, but you are going down these stairs!” Grabbed by da back of his white collar da priest went tumbling down da steps in front of da two stunned nuns. My faddah left da Catholic church. Latah, wun bishop in Honolulu said dat da priest had no right to do wat he did but it wuz too late— my faddah wuz already wun Protestant. Dats why by da time I came along I had to observe da Sabbath from Friday evening to Saturday night and I couldn’t go play outside or watch television. Bible school every Saturday morning and church service afterwards wit all da stuffy elders shaking my hand wen I left to go home. Thank God wen I reached fourteen my faddah gave me da choice if I wanted to go to church or not. He must have mellowed out wen he got oldah. If it wasn’t foa dat priest pushing his weight around I could have been Catholic. “Hail Mary full of grace” I would have been praying at da altar. Most likely dough even da faith of da Rosary wouldn’t have made wun difference— I tink I still would have bolted wen I had da chance. PORTAGEE JOKES “It’s kinnah funny to see wun Portagee in wun Volvo— honk da horn and it sounds like wun grandmaddah goose.” Kenrock Medeiros made up dat lame joke in his head driving on da freeway to da airport. “Vovo— Tutu— You get it?” he asked wun imaginary audience. Shaking his head he laughed at his stale humor and said to himself “Aaah, nevahmind...” He wuz in wun good mood and acting silly cause he wuz on his way to Portugal. Kenrock went to St. Louis High School and den to Villanova. He latah became wun fast track CEO in da financial world and made buku kine bucks. Wun Portagee joke he is not and if you taught only Pakes wuz good wit money take wun good look at Kenrock Medeiros. His wife wen leave earlier and she wuz already in Lisbon waiting foa him to arrive— Dey wuz going check out da Madeira Islands wheah dere relatives and malasadas came from. Wen Kenrock boarded da plane he sat down in his seat and looked down da aisle towards da pilot in da cockpit— He taught of anadah lame joke: “How many Portagees does it take to fly wun airplane? None. Wen you can easily pay adah people to do it.” Kenrock Medeiros stretched out his legs in first class and headed to his vacation screwing in wun light bulb in his head by himself while smiling and illuminating his big, bright world. WAT YOU GOING DO MANJU? Jesus gets moa converts and Buddha gets moa gongs while da universe is spinning and da angels sing dere songs so wat you going do manju wen da buggah comes aftah you? Dat ageless figure behind your back is wun heartless reaper, brah— Look how he tears up dat calendar and trows it into da air like confetti. Some people freak out and some people go insane to see wun cloud of shredded days falling inside dere brain— It’s wun big deal to know dat your time is almost ovah. So wat you going do manju wen da buggah comes aftah you? You no can run you no can slide you no can dodge da ending on dis one way ride— might as well laugh in his skeleton face. Dat black robe and scythe not going baddah me wen my mind turns off like wun TV. So wat you going do manju wen da buggah comes aftah you?

ELVIS LIVES IN MAUNAWILI Elvis came out of da bushes on da walking trail in full regalia in his dazzling white jumpsuit. . He asked me foa wun light but I told him I no smoke so he took off his dark glasses and he looked me in da eye. I saw pinwheels and sparks and heard funny kine noise and all da birds, and da clouds, and da trail wen disappear. Next ting I knew I wuz in da HIC in wun good seat looking at da stage watching Aloha from Hawaii beaming on wun satellite to da rest of da world— In da early 70s dat Presley concert wuz wun big event. Da music wuz entertaining da show wuz choreographed and da program wuz wun hit— but den I wen hear wun loud thud. I found myself on da walking trail again looking down at wun coconut right in front of me dat just fell from wun tree. Strange kine taughts wuz going through my head— Maybe I get sunstroke cause I no smoke pakalolo. Just den da coconut on da ground wen split open and out jumped Elvis! He wuz only da size of wun mongoose now but he smiled and ran back into da bushes. Lucky foa him no moa any dogs around cause dey could have bit off his head. Even foa me dis trail not dat safe— dats wat dey tell me anyway wen I can remembah. Elvis is wun nice guy dough if you get to know him— wen he came back to regular size we wen talk story little while and he told me he likes it in Maunawili bettah den Graceland. Sometimes wen I look at his face he get wun aura around him and my head get all fuzzy like I got wun migraine. I don't know it right now but my family stay looking foa me— I wen walk outtah da house wen my granddaughter wuz doing laundry. Dey told da cops I had Alzheimer’s. Everyting is cool dough and I not going worry cause da King of Rock ‘n’ Roll wen just sing one of my favorite songs dat wuz written by Kui Lee— “I’ll Remember You.” I tink he wen sing dat song at da HIC concert too but now I kinnah forget. Hard to know sometimes wen you walk by yourself wen your hair stay all gray and you wondah wheah you stay— Good ting I get Elvis foa keep me company. MANGO SAKAMOTO Mango Sakamoto wuz wun strange dude— Da buggah would hide in da bushes and shoot at small animals wit wun pellet gun. He made Whitmore Village famous— It had moa dead cats per acre den any adah town on da island. I would see him everyday wen I came home from school sitting on his parents porch eating green mango and shoyu— Dats how he got his nickname. He wuz wun spooky kine guy wen he gave you da "eye." Good ting dey took dat stolen pellet gun away from him. Mango Sakamoto wuz da same age as my oldah braddah who just joined da Air Force but he had wun baby kine mind. He really liked Kikaida dat red and blue android from da Japanee program dat ran on local TV. He would pretend dat he wuz dat sci-fi character and he would jump and shout and run around on da porch like he wuz fighting monsters or demons from da dark side. Wen I wuz wun small kid Mango wuz scary. I wuz always afraid dat he wuz going do someting bad to me. Da buggah wuz mental but you not supposed to say stuff like dat. I remembah da day wen I came home from school and saw all da cops standing around wun ambulance down da street. Dey had just brought up wun dead body from Kaukonahua Stream down in da gulch. Da investigators wen speculate dat da person wen drown aftah he wen wrap his own ankles and wrists wit twine and jumped into da deep watah of da stream. Da dead body wuz wearing wun Kikaida tee shirt. Mango Sakamoto— Crazy, brah. He wen take his own life. Just tinking about it gave me chicken skin. Foa da longest time I would walk pass dat house wit da empty porch remembering dat nut case and how afraid I used to be. Dats how kids tink wit tunnel vision unable to see around da edges. Mango Sakamoto— Dere wuz probably so much moa to his madness. I wuz just too young and unsympathetic to even see it.

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Glossary

Aloha from Hawaii brah buggah buku chicken skin HIC I'll Remember You Japanee malasadas manju pakalolo Pake Portagee shoyu talk story tutu vovo

A concert by Elvis Presley that was broadcast live via satellite to a worldwide audience in 1973. Bro; brother. A person, especially a male; the word can also refer to an animal or thing. Large amount. The bumps on your skin when you get a scary feeling; being afraid. Honolulu International Center. It is presently known as the Neal S. Blaisdell Center. A song written by a composer from Hawai'i named Kui Lee. The song was recorded and performed by Elvis Presley. Japanese. A donut without a hole that is deep-fried and rolled in sugar. It was introduced to Hawai’i by the Portuguese. A Japanese confection made of floor, rice powder and buckwheat with a filling of red bean paste. “Wat you going do manju?” is a Pidgin expression for “What are you going to do now?” Marijuana. Chinese. Portuguese. Soy sauce. Talking with friends or family. Grandmother; elder woman. Grandmother in Portuguese.

Joe Balaz is a well known writer of Hawaiian Islands Pidgin (Hawai’i Creole English). He also writes in American-English and creates visual concrete poetry and composes music-poetry.

Some of his Pidgin works such as “Junior Like Be Wun Rastah,” “Pidlit 101,” “Da History of Pigeon,” and “Da Mainland to Me” are viewed and studied as classics in the genre. Balaz also recorded Electric Laulau (1998), an innovative and groundbreaking cd of his Pidgin literature set to music.
 
 
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